Believe it or not, mom called me at Mumu’s to inform me that we were moving to Cleveland. Bob could get a really good job there and there were ‘wonderful opportunities’ for us too. She was planning to leave at the end of the month and she understood that I would probably have to get used to the idea, but she was convinced that this would be better for all of us.
I didn’t even argue, I just hung up the phone.
I will never forget this as long as I live. The very instant I told Mumu about this, something happened to her. She went completely silent and transformed right in front of my eyes. She grew at least 5 inches on the spot. Put on a good blouse, lipstick. Calmly put some things in her handbag, put on her coat and rolled her long scarf a few rounds around her neck and then stepped out into snow and wind, heading for my house. I wish someone else could have seen her march through the snow with those frizzy curls flying around her head in the wind. Fierce. I don’t think I have ever loved anybody or anything more than I loved her in that moment. Even the trees lining the road she walked on seemed to cheer her on, swaying even more with their bare winter branches in the cold wind.
It took forever and I couldn’t wait anymore. I made my way to our house.
I could never have guessed what I would find when I stepped into our house. The house seemed…cleaned? The usual mess, sticky kitchen and laundry piles were gone. It smelled really nice and soapy and there was even a small Christmas tree on the kitchen counter! This was just scary.
I found mom in the back yard, smoking a cigarette. I sat down next to her. She looked a little puffy, as if she had been crying. Her cigarette was crackling and glowing and the ash burned tunnels in the snow.
It felt like we sat there for a long time, next to each other. My bum got really cold so I got up and held out my hands to help her up.
- Come on mom, let’s go inside. You’ll catch a cold here.
We walked towards the backdoor when she suddenly stopped and turned, carefully taking me into her arms as if I was a stranger.
- I’m sorry, Chrysalis. I haven’t really been here for you. I will change that. I can change.
Too confusing an explosion within me to respond. Anger, doubt, relief, sadness, disbelief, joy.
- We’re not moving. We will stay right here.
It would take years until I dared to ask Mumu what she had actually said to my mom that day. What could have made such an impact on her?
- I just told her about the pockets of gold. That’s all.
Pockets of gold, everywhere.
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