Cecilia / Transmissions of Starlight / 1

 

She closed her eyes to the world, like she had closed her heart to the world too many years before. The world was not what she needed and the world did not need her.

Well, not the real her anyway.

 

What the world seemed to need was the one she could never be. The one she had tried to be. The one she had done her best to live up to. Which had never been enough.

 

She closed her eyes and promised to never look back. Only to look inwards. Following the symbols and the keys. Passing through doors new and old over and over again. Inner doors and inner dimensions.

 

What is out there is what is out there yet it’s not out there.

 

To see for real you have to fly with your eyes wide shut. So that your souls eyes are held open. Letting the silence speak like the Northern Lights sing. Stalling your gaze on that magnificence. That magnificence your being truly is.

 

When you walk down to the river’s edge where the white , crisp ice meets the dark lava coloured bottomless water and you peer in to the depths only to see the reflections of endless space, multitudes of stars and galaxies undiscovered. Then.

 

When you are there, and you lean a little further over the filigreed edge, and you look in to two deep, brown eyes, adorned by a silver grey mane, a large white muzzle, you realize that you are looking at a reflection of that unicorn which is you.

 

You pull back.

 

You look again.

 

Nothing has changed.

 

Or has everything changed?

 

The silver grey hair now adorns a woman dressed in white swirling lace and crystal studded layers dancing in the windless night to the rhythm of the Northern Lights.

 

“Be what you want to be, dive deep in to your true desires and be only that”, the wind which was not there, whispered.

 

She opened her eyes.

 

“See what is not there”, the whispers continued.

 

The first snow had started to fall. Out there, past the frosty grass, across the dunes, over the beach, a butterfly spread its wings.

 

“Don’t be afraid of completing your transformation even if tomorrow could be your last day. It’s all in the hands of you”.

 

 

-       Cecilia Götherström, Kringlans AdventsKalender 2022